Tuesday, September 7, 2010
We're too damn arrogant and prude to admit we wanna fuck and not "make love".we're too damn hypocritical to admit we love what we're suppose to hate.
We love feeling small and unimportant because it makes us feel different. We love to feel left out because we need someone to pull us back in. we love to feel wanted or craved for, because we need an excuse to reject others without guilt .we love to argue and be upfront, because we're sure that the others we'll be to scared to challenge us back. we love to act out because our lives are so boring and unimportant . we love to be outrageous because just being ourselves is not interesting enough.we looooooooove to get dirty and frivolous because we're feeling dead inside. we love to think we can find something where there's nothing there to find, just because we need to grab on to something in this little life we're living.we love to lie and hide things because it makes us feel we care.we love to pretend our life is wonderful and fairy-tale like although we are tumbling inside and out, just to keep our families happy. we love to think we're good just so that we don't show our real' nature. we love to think we have friends, just so that we don't get completely lost. we love to think that soul mates exist, so that we have a purpose in life.we love to think that life is what you make of it, just because we're scared to recognize the implacable faith. we love to think we have a God who cares for us, just because we are to weak to take responsibility for our own actions and finally, but never endless, we love to believe in love and being loved just so that we can feel something...anything.
On the other side, we hate people who are direct and straightforward, because they're an offense to the social principles we "own". we hate the people who feel small, because they are so easy to crush that it's almost irresistible to do it(and that makes us feel bad). we hate the rebels, because they're always showing us what we're missing out on (although we had a chance to be them), we hate the ones who love and crave us because we just can't deal with their ridiculous commitment. we hate those who argue with us because they make us feel challenged and small. we hate the ones acting out because we forgot how good it felt doing it (before we were forced to get down on our knees into the "real life").we hate the outrageous ones because various things stop us for ever allowing ourselves to be like them or to be so free ). we hate the frivolous and the dirty because they get to do all the things we want, fantasize and dream of, but that are no longer seen as "acceptable" for our status. we hate the perpetual need to find something, just because we can't live without it and it's driving us nuts. we hate the ones that lie, just because it proves we were believing in dreams and nothingness. we hate the ones that are happy, because we can never see ourselves in that place. we hate the evil ones because at least they have a clear vision of their nature. we hate friends, because they are rearely friends- there's always a miscellaneous little reason behind their affection. we hate soul mates because they either die on you, or disappear or they just get lost in all the wrong places. we hate faith because well, it ...just fucks everything up (but still..., isn't easier to believe in, than in the Bible? :) )we hate God, because he never comes DOWN to our expectations and because ...well, He's never there for us? :) (we ask, therefore we should receive...isn't that what the Bible says? ).And finally, we hate to love...because, ...guess what? that actually makes us feel alive. And that's the scariest thing of all :).
SO AREN'T WE...JUST THE WORST AND THE LOVELIEST SPECIES IN THE FREAKING UNIVERSE? :)
PS: "WE" in this blog is only related to those who feel somewhat close to those principles.