Monday, January 17, 2011

Blue Monday

Deci asa...Incepu inca un an. Cica azi e "blue Monday" adica un fel de zi in care incepem contorizarea (deja!) a rezolutiilor pe care ni le-am propus de rusine, de Revelion, a banilor cheltuiti atat de nesabuit de Craciun (cand ai impresia ca parca banii au alta valoare), evaluarea fostelor si potentialelor greseli in viata profesionala si personala.. Acu e momentul cand realizezi ca, desi ti-ai propus sa te lasi de fumat la 1 ian, dupa nici 3 zile te-ai trezit iar cu tigara in gura si deja esti resemnat ca oricum n-o sa se schimbe nimic. Si-o iei de la capat si pierzi speranta ca anul asta va fi mai bine.N-o zic eu...cica asa spun statisticile. Cea mai depresiva zi din an.
Eu zic ca e bullshit! Am avut zile mult mai deprimante. Azi am fost chiar in forma..Mult prea in forma...M-am trezit cu chef de munca si de distractie. Ce pacat ca e doar luni si maine am in agenda niste activitati fff obositoare psihic. Anyhu, daca e sa contorizez astea 2 sapt si-un tzar,...asa doar ca sa vad daca am motive de stres sau depresie:

1. Mi s-a stricat centrala. Cost reparatie 840 ron. Moaca mea cand mi s-a zis...:priceless

2. Telefonul meu nu se mai incarca-ergo mi-am pierdut toate numerele de tel (ca doar nu-s nebuna sa-mi fac back-up ca tot omul...)+ toate aniversarile (ceea ce pentru mine e o problema, fiind absolut incapabila de a tine minte astfel de detalii. Partea misto e ca acu am o relicva... Mie-mi place sa-i zic "Vintage" ca sa ma dau fitzoasa.

3.N-am stiut ca iarna nu e recomandat sa-ti lasi masina cu frana de mana trasa, asa ca buburuza mea a ramas anemica in parcare, cu o roata blocata (Am primit un pont de la un coleg: cica da-i vreo 2 ciocane...-o sa probez si varianta asta)

4. Pentru ca de Craciun m-am gandit ca ar fi mai bine sa iau si un avans din salariul urmator, cand mi-am primit fluturasul am facut un mic infarct interior..

5. M-am ales cu un pseudo-iubit psihopat si stalker...da cu astia ma descurc

6. M-ai grav decat ramas fara hartie igienica (pe noroc ca scrisei pe blog ca altfel uitam completamente! ) peste alta, propun sa se decreteze ziua asta Pink eu motive de depresie n-am!!! Finally!!! (adica deocamdata)

Desi...daca stau sa iau si magaoaiele de anul trecut cu repercusiuni pe termen lung...parca...

NEAH!!!Can't bring me down this year!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dirty dreamz

You know what really bugs me?
What fantasies have become these days... i mean, I used to fantasize about things that actually don't really hapen in real life, cause you're either to much of a puritan or because you can't get the suitable partner to get you there.. Lately, all this changed. I'm having a completly different kind of fantasies

All this started a couple of months ago, when absolutely out of the blue, I start getting these naughty, dirty dreams with a collegue...I mean cmon! I never thought about the guy other than well...just a guy to hang out with every now and then. In my dreams we always sneak arround somewhere in some dark corner and after a lot of teasing and touching,...combined with that extreme feeling of forbbiden,he gives me the most amazing, soft, passionate, ridiculously exciting and arrousing..., butterfly causing, "ready for anything "..., teasing, painfully delicious, overwelming and abso-fucking-lutely fabulous..... kiss. On the lips. That's it. And then I just wake up trembeling like crazy, trying to catch my breath. It feels every time so intense, so real and so perfect. For a half an hour after, I can still feel his lips on mine, pressing and biting and licking in the perfect rythm..I can still hear my heart beating like crazy and I finally get to a state of blisful satisfaction...

Must be smthg wrong with me if I start fantasizing about kissing? In a world devoured by carnal desire and live pornography, I think a kiss is but a mear desire of going back, to more inocent times..(Although there's nothing innocent about those dream-kisses..) They certainly don't feel that way. Still, it just made me remember some...less fleshy details from when I was younger and kissing ment the world to me. It can say so much about a person, about its temper, about its nature..This just made me remember how amazing and spectacular just one kiss may be and how important it is. To me anyway. And this was just a dream...
Question is...should I go ahead and fullfill the fantasy? or should I just keep it in my dreams?? Is my "brain" trying to tell me something that I refuse to accept? I can say I did change the way I look at that person, I almost feel my cheeks turning red everytime his eyes rest in mine for more than 2 seconds :))) Silly me...acting like a five grader. Sometimes I just imagine blocking the elevator and going ahead with the urges..but I don't think that's a good idea (we have cameras..) So I'll just put down the pushy, daring part of me this time. Going with the flow belongs to different times :) I'm so much more mature right now...

WHO AM I Kidding???